Tag Archives: relationships

Hide your friends, hide your heart…Bentley’s of the world are EVERYWHERE

8 Jun

D bag

Bentley’s of the world. They’re everywhere. I wish I could say Bentley is a once-in-a-blue-moon kind of guy, but the truth is, I’ve run into one, my girlfriends have run into one, and I’m willing to bet you have as well. Think you haven’t? Imagine this scenario:

Girl goes to a bar. Girl runs into cute, funny Guy that she has fun with, laughs with, flirts with. Guy charms the Girl. Girl and Guy exchange numbers. Guy texts Girl right after they part ways, only continuing to charm Girl. Girl and Guy text the rest of the weekend, leaving Girl thinking “where has Guy been all my life?!” Girl and Guy meet for dinner during the week. Girl and Guy text and chat all week. Girl and Guy meet up the next weekend. Girl, completely charmed by Guy and feeling very comfortable with him, goes home with Guy. Girl and Guy hook up. Girl and Guy say bye the next morning with Girl on cloud 9. Girl then doesn’t hear from Guy. Girl only gets one word text responses from Guy. Guy becomes “slammed at work”. Girl and Guy stop talking. Girl doesn’t see Guy. Weeks, maybe months, go by until Girl sees Guy again. The night Girl and Guy reunite he begins to charm Girl again and, feeling like everything is “back to normal” with Guy, Girl hook ups with Guy. Girl then doesn’t hear from Guy. And so goes the vicious cycle.

Let him walk away!

See…yes, you have run into a Bentley. The “benefit” of running into a Bentley in the real world is that we don’t see the other side of the conversation. We don’t hear him tell his friends that we are just a girl he hangs out with every once and a while, we don’t hear him say he’s looking for someone more attractive, we don’t know he wishes he could find someone “better” to occupy his time with. The reason why I put benefit in quotations is because it really isn’t a benefit to not see the other side of the coin. Sometimes women just don’t get the hint when a guy doesn’t respond to texts, doesn’t return calls and doesn’t want to hang out. And often times the reason women don’t get the hint is because avoided texts/calls/meet-ups are accompanied by an excuse that leads women to believe it isn’t them…“slammed at work”, “friends/family in town”, “not feeling well”, “broke/lost my phone”, “in an area without cell service”, “busy” or the Bentley line “I miss my daughter”.  Sometimes we need to hear the negative before we can cut the guy loose, before we give up on the “dot-dot-dot”. Telling the truth, while it may hurt more than a sugar-coated good-bye, is what women deserve to hear…not some made up excuse. Guys trust me, you leaving a woman will not ruin her life. She can and will move on. Don’t flatter yourself by thinking she will never be able to get over you telling her she isn’t what you are looking for.

These guys are everywhere. And they suck. And we suck for letting a cycle like this start. I know I am extremely guarded with my heart and that has a tendency to reveal who the Bentley’s are and who are worth my time. After all, If I’m not careful with it, why would anyone else be?

Anyone have good ways of pinpointing the Bentley’s of the world? Have you or a girlfriend run into one? Have an AWESOME story on how you caught one and revealed his evil scheme?! Please share!!

Freak Out Mode: I’m STILL Single

18 May

I started my Tumblr blog over a year ago and had to deactivate it when I went on The Bachelor. Well, I didn’t deactivate, I just made all my posts private so no one but me could see them. The other day I was reading through my private posts and I came across this one that is pretty relevant and actually still explains where I am in life.

Here’s that post, written back in July of 2010 Continue reading 

He’s Just Not That Into You…or is he?

11 May

To say that I have hit a dry spell when it comes to male/female relationships that extend beyond a friendship is the understatement of the year. I haven’t been in a serious, committed relationship since the summer of 2009. (Wow saying that out loud kind of hit me a little harder than I thought! Geeze, it’s been a while!) I have no problem being single, focusing only on me (and my dog, Louis) and spending my time with my girlfriends and family.In this time, and ever since my later years in college, I have tried to understand guys better and get into their heads. We all know this is impossible but a recent conversation with a guy I ‘talked’ with revealed something that may answer a lot of questions I have had.

In college my girlfriends and I read every self-help relationship book printed: He’s Just Not That Into You, Why Men Love Bitches, Act Like a Lady Think Like A Man…you name it, we bought it! This usually was a circle of sharing books…one of us bought one, read it and threw it at the next girl raving on how we learned so much and “ohmygosh you HAVE to read this it’s PERFECT for your situation!” Looking back, those books drastically screwed me up, with the biggest culprit being He’s Just Not That Into You. Continue reading 

Love games

21 Apr

QUIT IT WITH THE GAMES AND JUST BE HONEST!

Now that I got that off my chest :) …..

Without a doubt it is believed that women play games more than men when it comes to relationships. Guys are portrayed as the blunt and honest ones while women use emotions and encouragement from crappy novels/self-help books & articles to ruin relationships. Don’t get me wrong, i’m sure I did my fare share of this my freshman year (ok, maybe sophomore and junior year, too) in college by either complicating a relationship or stringing a guy along for free dinners, drinks and a couple completed econ homework assignments. But through my recent experience most guys I run into are still stuck in the college mindset attempting to live it up and string girls along no matter how old they are.  Continue reading 

Advice

7 Apr

How many times have we asked for advice and then thrown it to the wind to do either the exact opposite or what we had wanted to do before we got the advice? I’m notorious for this and I’m sure you all are as well. I am excellent at giving advice…for some reason I know exactly what to say to my friends. Need to know what text to send to a new flame? I got your answer. Need to know what to say when you have to confront the guy who has suddenly gone rogue? Honey, get a pen, and start taking notes. But when it comes to figuring out my own life…that’s a totally different story.

Continue reading 

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