Holy cow I’m finally writing a blog! I haven’t done a Bachelorette blog the past couple week because 1) I got busy with life stuff, and 2) I had a lot of thoughts running through my head and wanted to give it a little bit of time before I came up with my stance on some of the guys. Obviously we have a couple of men on the show that have stood out (not for the best of reasons) and my position is one that you maybe haven’t heard much of. Hear me out on this one…
Two guys have made some comments that have definitely rubbed America wrong. Granted, they aren’t there for America, but still. It is a T.V. show and the public opinion will play a part. While they have both made questionable comments,I definitely see a difference between Kalon and Ryan. I’m going to take the chance of getting a lot of negative comments and defend Ryan.
From the very beginning we have known Ryan is someone who lives through his faith. I’m about to talk A LOT about faith and God so if you are someone who isn’t open to that or your don’t hold those same beliefs, you may just want to skip over this. I also want to say I have no idea if this is truly what Ryan is thinking and in no way do I mean to put words in his mouth. This is just how I am seeing things and think he mayyyyybe deserves a break.
Anyways, Ryan has said multiple things (quoting his preacher on the second episode, for instance) that have let us know he isn’t someone who takes this “journey” lightly and feels he is called for a higher purpose. Why the verbal diarrhea, then, you may ask? I’m pretty convinced Ryan has been completely worked over by producers and editing. We see it every season. Someone gets a bad edit. Sometimes they deserve it, sometimes it’s all crafted behind-the-scenes. In his case, I think it has been created behind-the-scenes with a little assistance from him. I will TOTALLY agree that he has said some things that let the manipulation and editing happen BUT I don’t think his words come from a bad place like most everyone is interpreting them to. Let’s break it down a little, starting with what America is hating about him.
1- Ryan is full of himself. I’ll kinda give you this one. The guy is his number one fan and has confidence we have never seen before on the show. If you asked him, I’m sure he’d admit that he thinks highly of himself. But his confidence isn’t something foreign to us and might be something we are guilty of, too. Look, I’ll be the first to tell you I’ll petition like heck that I’m a great catch and have qualities that make me a great person. Think of when you go into a job interview. It’s one of the most uncomfortable parts of an interview but you have to sell yourself. You have to brag and tell them why you are so amazing and better than anyone else. And that’s exactly what he’s doing in these interviews. PLUS, the commentary he is giving on himself isn’t just out of the blue. It’s prompted by questions and producers wanting him to explain why he is the best for Emily.
I bet many of us are not too far off from Ryan when it comes to self-confidence. The difference is that we have never seen it on this show and most of us keep that self-confidence on the DL. A lot of people will censor themselves when they walk through the mansion doors. I think Ryan is so trusting of producers and the show and has such a sense of trust in the journey that God is taking him on, that he doesn’t think twice. Not to mention, he is also an athlete (which usually equals a strong personality and a lot of confidence) AND he owns his own business which he has to sell all day, every day. The commentary he is giving about himself is something he is used to and accustomed to so he probably didn’t think twice about answering questions centered around his positive characteristics. Is his delivery the best in the world? Eh, I’m gonna say no. But the dude is honest. And I’d rather see someone be honest than full of lies.
2- Ryan is superficial. This idea of Ryan came about from either his comment about Emily being a trophy wife or her needing to work out. When it comes to the trophy wife comment, I think a lot of people missed his previous explanation of what a trophy wife is to him. He told Emily that in his mind a trophy wife is a woman who has the entire package. Looks, brains, caring nature, confidence. Someone that is the best she can be and makes him better for it. I think this all fell on deaf ears when he explained it to Emily…possibly because she is used to guys fawning over only her looks and when she hears “trophy” she thinks “game.” I don’t know about you ladies, but I want my husband to think I’m a trophy wife. I want my husband to show me off, be proud to be with me and think of me as a prize. Because, while love is not a game, I am a prize to be won. I won’t be with the man who simply strides up and shows me attention but rather with the man who puts in the work and shows me he deserves me and can hang with me. And, dang it, I want a trophy husband! A freakin’ hot, God-loving, caring, smart, funny, strong, trophy husband :).
The working out comment (while it may not have been the best way to bring up the topic) probably stems from his desire to want to be with someone who values being healthy, motivated and attractive to their significant other. Many didn’t catch that, as Emily was grilling him on loving her if she gets fat, he asked her if the weight gain would be because she got lazy. And in episode 4, when it came up again, she asked him what if she didn’t go to the gym and instead was getting a workout by chasing his kids around, to which he replied that would be totally attractive. And every time he brings it up he has a smile on his face and is laughing. I’m sure most of it (while rooted in truth and honest feelings) is said in a joking way and to get her to lighten up. Ryan isn’t saying you better not get fat or I won’t love on you, he’s saying he wants to be with someone who has the same values he does when it comes to being healthy, motivated and wanting to look good for a partner. Um, I’m pretty sure if you asked anyone they would want the same things as him. He just has the courage to say it.
3- Ryan is on the show to be the next Bachelor. “I’m called for something bigger.” Some of you took this comment to mean he thinks he’s going to be the next Bachelor. I’m understanding it as him talking about being called for something bigger in the realm of life and with regards to his faith. I truly think Ryan is someone who believes his life is meant to serve God. I don’t think his focus is to find a wife at the end of this. I think his focus is to follow the calling he feels in his heart, be a good representation of the Lord and whatever he is supposed to have in life, he will be given. Which is another reason why I think he’s so confident. He trusts that the Lord will put him on the right path to be with Emily if he’s supposed to be with her and that it’s out of his hands. “I’m not here to impress you, I’m here to make an impression,” and “Isn’t it great when you can use a position like this?” Again, more comments I believe to be rooted in his faith. I think he is talking about making an impression in regards to who he is and the role faith has played in his life. I don’t think he’s meaning any harm or rudeness to Emily when he says he’s not there to impress her but rather meaning that he is who he is and his life has a greater purpose of sharing his faith and making that be his lasting impression. And he is also using the position of being on the show to relay his faith to others. “I know the media…I can go do Bachelor Augusta.” 1- we never see his face when he says this so we have no idea when this is really said or if that’s what’s said. 2- If you all think no other contestant has ever said they wouldn’t mind being the Bachelor or Bachelorette in the middle of trying to “win” the current show they’re on, you’re crazy. 3- If he really did say this, he’s saying this to Michael. A guy who is probably talking with him about feeling as if he’s going home. I can easily see Ryan pulling stuff out to try to cheer him up, talking about how this show isn’t the end of the world. We have seen (especially in this most recent episode) that Ryan has a joking nature. 4- WHO HONESTLY SAYS “I’M GOING TO DO BACHELOR AUGUSTA” and means it????? This is in no way shape or form meant to be taken seriously. I mean, c’mon guys. “I think if I were the Bachelor, it’d be a neat thing to see.” Again, if you think contestants never talk about the possibility of being the lead while being a contestant, you are living in a dream world. Heck, we had girls pretty much petitioning to be on Bachelor Pad while still on my show. It happens. A lot. And I think he means it being neat as in the work he can do by being a Bachelor that isn’t afraid to profess his faith. Should Ryan have been more careful with what he said to producers? Absolutely. But these comments could have easily been pulled from him. Just because he is talking about being the Bachelor doesn’t mean he wants to be the Bachelor.
Lastly, there has been three examples that I could think of off the top of my head of Ryan chatting with and comforting other guys in the house: Tony, Michael and Doug. How is a guy that is supposedly self-centered, rude and arrogant, taking time to chat and comfort some guys? Why is it that no one is confronting him in front of everyone else and asking about his intentions to his face? I could be wrong, but have we heard anyone else say anything negative about his intentions other than Arie? And for the record, I think this whole Ryan vs Arie thing got blown out of proportion. When Ryan first talked to Emily about her kissing Arie, his beef was with her kissing him in front of everyone, not that she was kissing him in the first place. I think he had issue with that because in his mind it may cause him to question who she is. It’s one thing to kiss a bunch of guys, it’s another thing to kiss them in front of other guys you are trying to start a relationship with. Maybe it caused him to question Emily’s intentions…maybe this is where the whole “set an example” talk came from. In his eyes maybe that action caused him to really think about what she’s about. Again, I’m not meaning to put any words in Ryan’s mouth but, I have seen some things that I think conflict with how America is viewing him and just wanted to put a different light on the situation.