QUIT IT WITH THE GAMES AND JUST BE HONEST!
Now that I got that off my chest …..
Without a doubt it is believed that women play games more than men when it comes to relationships. Guys are portrayed as the blunt and honest ones while women use emotions and encouragement from crappy novels/self-help books & articles to ruin relationships. Don’t get me wrong, i’m sure I did my fare share of this my freshman year (ok, maybe sophomore and junior year, too) in college by either complicating a relationship or stringing a guy along for free dinners, drinks and a couple completed econ homework assignments. But through my recent experience most guys I run into are still stuck in the college mindset attempting to live it up and string girls along no matter how old they are.
Research has shown that people are gradually getting married later in life.
The median age at first marriage increased to 28.2 for men and 26.1 for women in 2010, an increase from 26.8 and 25.1 in 2000, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. This increase is a continuation of a long-term trend that has been noted since the mid-1950s.
This trend is totally fine by me. Trust me, I’m in NO rush to get married. Growing up in a single-parent household has made me dreadfully fearful of marrying the wrong person. I will never rush marriage and will never push something that isn’t there just because my internal clock is ticking.
What I would love, though, is to find someone that I can start making memories with, a foundation with, sharing life with. If it eventually leads to marriage, great…but the problem is most guys now run from something or play games the second it looks like it may get remotely serious for fear that the woman is going to pressure a ring within moments of meeting them.
So many of my friends (myself included) have found guys that can’t seem to figure out what they want. It goes like this: girl finds guy, they spend time together frequently, sleep over at each other’s places, introduce each other to friends and family and move in a direction that would lead to a committed relationship…these occurrences being completely mutual and not forced by the female. All of a sudden a month or two down the line the guy slowly disappears. Phone calls become few and far between, texts messages go unanswered, sleepovers cease. The ‘relationship’ disappears but the guy pops in and out, still showing enough interest to keep the girl around, just not interest on the level as it was for the first couple months. The girl is left wondering what happened, why the guy is in and out and wanting to just know if this is a go or not. Obviously one can conclude that the ‘relationship’ is over but the girl wants needs to hear it from the guy.
Why do guys have such a hard time saying they aren’t feeling it anymore? Why do they play this slow disappearing game instead of just being upfront and honest. Trust me, I’m not fragile. Don’t flatter yourself…at 26 years old this month long relationship is not going to break me when it ends. I can handle you saying it just isn’t what you thought it would be/we aren’t connecting like you would like/you aren’t looking for something serious. Why does it come down to me cornering you in a situation to finally drag the explanation out of you?
And on another note, why do guys assume girls are taking the relationship at anything more than face value? Oh, you had a bunch of exes that did that? They acted like you were married a month into a relationship and you don’t want something to move quickly? Well guess what…we aren’t your ex. We’d like to think that you are interested in us because you see something different. If you keep holding every girl to the ex-girlfriend standard and play these stupid games you won’t get anywhere. Don’t play the bad boy card…no, we don’t like you more if you push us away and act like a jerk. Don’t disappear and reappear randomly…no, we don’t like you more if you keep us guessing.
Clearly, I can’t speak for all women. I can speak for the good ones though, I think. The games are old. The games are tiring. Grow up and gain some courage, guys. It takes a bigger man to be honest and act on his true feelings. This started off as a reflection on friends’ experiences (as well as mine) but is almost reading as a plea to game-playing dudes everywhere.
Cheers to no more games